That was my response to my friend when we were going out and she asked me if she was going to have to treat me to dinner. I'm homeless; not because I'm poor but because there are no homes to be had.

 I visited my apartment complex yesterday. There were two old ladies sitting outside. They were convinced that the entire structure was going to be torn down; since the first floor was flooded and the roof on the third floor is missing. So that leaves me without a home. One among thousands of people who no longer have homes.

I'm fine for right now; as I will be staying in a dorm at the school I'm attending. Whats next? Where do i go when school is over for the semester. Where will i live? What state will i be in? I could always go live at my job like so many others are doing, but thats not me. I don't care if the President of the company is living there too, it's not good enough for me. Crowds are not my cup of tea. I require privacy and alone time. Just the idea of working my shift and then not being able to leave makes me sick to my stomach. so staying at my job is not an option.

I sometimes wonder if I should just quit school and my job, pack up everything i own and just move somewhere and start over. Starting a new life seems alot easier than trying to rebuild the one i've lived for so long. The only thing i have thats holding me to my old life is my job where I have a little status and make a farely decent salary.  I'm not a quiter; even though, quiting seems much easier than staying. I pray to the lord to give me guidance and strength.

I have to leave the dorm in December when the semester ends, so I have until then to decide what I'm going to do.

Ok, so we know that popularity was everything in highschool, class president, prom queen, homecoming king and queen, basically, all those things and more were just popularity contests.

But we are far from highschool...we are grown and we live in the real world. Popularity isn't important...or so I thought...

As some of you know i'm a member of a on-line community called EXCITE. I've been a member for over 3 years. Sure I started off as a nobody, but with my charming personality and quick wit(not to mention i'm just gosh darn adorable) I quickly became a "regular" and gained alot of friends...along the way i've also lost some friends..which is pretty much the way life works..you win some you lose some.

Now, I love attention and I like to be the focal point of every conversation. Whether i'm cracking jokes or making an intelligent observtion. So I guess it's safe to say that i'm well known and well liked by all(most). Does that mean that i'm popular? I thought so..but lets be honest popularity doesn't get you anything..especially in an on-line community. So i knew I was popular, but I didn't really care. I was just living my life, I wasn't intentionally trying to impress anybody. I was just being myself. So popularity didn't mean shit to me until......

I was on MSN messenger talking to a fellow Excite buddy of mine, while she was telling me about someone that she liked. She made a comment about how he was too popular in excite to want to talk to her. So I say "Thats crazy, I'm popular and I talk to you everyday" (Are you guys ready for the "until" part?) She replys with "He is way more popular than you are." My heart just sunk...here is my good friend telling me that someone is more popular than I was. Now I knew that there were people more popular, but the person whom she was speaking of never even registred on my list o popularity. So I guess that i'm a lil bummed out right now, my world has come crashing down...

Well, I finally did it you guys. Yep, I'm returning to school after -mumble- years away. No more excuses for not going back to finish. I've been out so long that I didn't want to start out full time. So I'm only taking 2 classes and one University Success class, which is like an automatic A. It's suppose to help me manage my time better and help me be better prepared for my classes.

This time it's going to be different. I can kick myself now because I didn't really take school seriously when I first went -mumble- years ago. I was too busy running after girls, and trying to put a lil money in my pocket to be worried about classes. This time it will be different. I will take it serious.  When I form a study group it will actually be to study and not to flirt with the cute girl in my class. Thanks to the internet I have several friends who will be able to offer me with assistance to any problems I may have.

The only thing I dread is Science  . I have avoided taking my required science corses until the last possible moment, now I have to face them. And it's been -mumble- years since I've had high school science. So I know it will be a challenge. But I think i'm up to it. Yall wish me luck, My first day of class is tomorrow.

                                               "What would Jesus Do"

 

                                              Do any of us really know?

 

Would Jesus  go to a football game?

Would Jesus go to the movies?

Would Jesus Drive a car?

Would Jesus go to a strip club?

Would Jesus watch TV.?

Would Jesus go to church?

Would Jesus go to your church?

Would Jesus go sky diving?

Would Jesus Listen to rap/gospel/country music?

What would Jesus do in these situations? Can you answer these questions yes/no with absoloute faith that you know what he would do? Why or why not would he do these things.

The bible teaches that we should live in the world and not of it. What are the guidelines for living in the world and not of it? Would going to the movies be living in it or of it?

I think that the guidlines are very simple. "You shall love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, mind and soul" No other gods shall come before him.

So if there is something in your life that you have made into your god(the thing you live for), whether it be money, sex, job, car, drugs, alcohol etc.... then you are living of the world.

Recently I have been called a hypocrite because I am a Christian and occasionally one of the things I do in my spare time is visit a local strip club. I have been told that if I'm a christian then I shouldn't go to strip clubs because thats "lusting" over the women. Jesus said "If anyman lust after a woman then he has already commited adultery in his heart" How exactly does someone lust after something?  Now it has come to my attention that many people do not know the correct meaning of the word lust. The dictionary definition of lust is "an overwelming desire" "an intense or unrestrained sexual desire" "Intense eagernes or enthusiasim" With that being said, I ask. Is it possible for a man to be in an atmosphere with women wearing next to nothing and not show any intense or overwelming desire? I will not lie, I like the female body. All straight men love the female body, we like to look at it. It's plesant to the eye. It gives us joy to see a pretty face. Is it wrong of me to want to be in an atmosphere where I'm surrounded by beautiful female bodies? Do I have to lust over them? Is it possible that I just find them attractive? Now I'm not gonna B.S. anyone and say that there aren't guys who go there to lust over the women or say that I haven't done it in the past but I can say that I don't do it now.

I have been asked "Would Jesus go to a strip club?"

My answer is "probably not" but he probably also wouldn't go to a football game or go bowling either or go to an Usher concert, so whats your point? Is the measure and rule for what is right and wrong dependant upon what Jesus would do? I think the question should be "Would you feel comfortable doing it if Jesus was watching." "WYFCDIIJWW"(Think I can get that on a keychain?) Now notice that I said "IF" cause I don't know too many people that would have sex with their spose if Jesus was sittin there watchin. I guess the whole point to realise is that he is watching..every second of every minute of every day. So I can go in any situation or any atmosphere and conduct myself as if he was watching everything that I do. So just because you can't do something and not conduct yourself in a proper way doesn't mean that I can't. If you can't have a beer without wanting 10 more doesn't mean that I shouldn't drink one.

About 120 years ago the idea of a woman showing her ankles n public would have caused an uproar. She would have been labled a whore, skank, nasty girl. The sight of a womans ankle was determined to be too revealing. She would be considered todays equivalent of a stripper. Today, if a woman is showing her ankles she may not even get a second look if she even gets a first. So with this being said, What exactly is nudity? What is considered to be Provacative or riskay? Would a womans ankle turn most men into lusting after her? probably not. So what is it? Is it a breast? Could be..Depends on the man. Are there not some cultures where women go around topless all day and the men pay it no attention? So with that being said, isn't it safe to say that the thing that he considers to "float his boat" is all in his mind? Is it right to group everyone in the same category just because most people fall into it?

Yes I know it's been forever since I've done an entry.

 

Last night I had the weirest ass dream. I Dreamt that I got fired from my job. But the weirdest thing is the reason why I was fired. I was fired because I was accused of shooting one of our customers by accident. No customer in particular. I don't have a vendeta against anybody. Infact, I never even interact with any of our customers. So anyway I was fired And everytime I tried to tell my boss that I didn't shoot anybody something was always getting in the way. I was ducking people that I didn't want to know that I was fired. It was one crazy dream, I even woke up thinking that I was really fired. I dunno why I was thinking that stuff.

I'm sitting here at work watching some music videos and several thoughts have come to mind. I'm watchin these rappers with all the girls and money and jewelry, houses, cars..etc.. I wonder...How much of this stuff is actually theirs? Of course all the women are rented. I wonder how many of those women would even give those guys the time of day if they weren't being paid to be there. Also, I'm wondering why anyone would spend 20g's on a d*mn pinky ring. Take The T.I "Lets get away" video for example. Nice car, nice house, beautiful women. All fake..none of that sh*t is his. Why he frontin? Another example..Remember the "Braid my hair" by Mario...Now I know yall thought the same thing I thought when yall first seen the chick who was suppose to be his ol'lady in the video..."that woman is way to fine to ever give that lil boy the time of day" They could have atleast made the shit believable. I guess it's all just simple. People who grew up with nothing, so now that they have something, they don't know how to act.
I don't know if I'm trying to get a point across..it's just something that was on my mind.

You know it's been said that truth is in the eye of the beholder. Everybody has their own truth. So is it reallr right to say one person is right and the other is wrong?
Lets say for instance, you have 4 people. All 4 people are looking out the same window at the exact same time for 5 seconds. What are the odds that all 4 people will see the exact same thing?

Person 1 sees a car driving by
Person 2 sees the sky is getting dark
person 3 sees a bug crawling on the window
person 4 sees a crack in the glass of the window.

Now if they all wrote down what they saw and shared, would it be ok, for person 1 to call person 4 a liar, there wasn't a crack n the glass. or person 2 to say that there wasn't a bug?

I guess you can say that it's all bout perception. Just because one person focuses in on something, doesn't mean the person next to him ever even notices.

Same thing happens in relationships. An innocent conversation or situation can lead to mistrust. I could be telling my gf bout my day and mention that I ran into an old gf. Now on my list of important things that happened that day my ex gf could rank very low but on my present gf it could be the most important thing that happened to me that day.

So it's all about perception. whats important to you may not be important to the one standing next to you.

Ok, i'm a lil pissed off,  this is the second time this has happened since I started useing ths journal. Everybody if you are making an entry make sure it's on "visual editor" and not "code editor" or all your ish will be lost when you try to post your entry.  

Lets try this again.

As some of you know I have started my own forum community http://unlimiteddj.proboards33.com I have Dessa's consent help and encouragement so don't get Mani for me please.   My reasons for creating my own site are mainly because i just wanted to have some place where I can say what I wanna say, when I wanna say it. I just couldn't do that on TVA. Don't get me wrong, I love TVA. but I just didn't have all the freedom i wanted. So the natural conclusion, start my own. Do it my way. I wanted a not so serious atmospere. A place that had it's own unique charm. A place that was not so serious. Just like me. I'm a happy go lucky person, not much in this world makes me mad.

Well, I created the place with Dessa's help. thankyou baby  It has serious and not so serious categories. Next I started to invite people. This is where the problem began. I invited a bunch of knuckle heads. The only thing they wanted to post about was mess. I had topics everywhere from sports,movies,love,dating,abortion yet all those boards went ignored. Hell I even started posting on these subjects, but I guess I was just talking to myself. One person even had the audacity to assume that I created the site, just so I could talk about her because I made one lil post about her on the rant and rave board. Plus I didn't even say her name, I just generalised. But thats a whole nother journal entry all together.

I guess i'm just expecting too much too soon, after all, the site has only been up for 2 days, I can't expect it to be all that exciting so soon. Plus side, I already have 30 members, donside, no one is posting. I think i may have to send out a mass e-mail, telling everyone how to pos and start new threads. I'm also looking for moderators. applications now being accepted. So stop on by and post PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

Ok, as some of yall knew, I went to Washington D.C. over the past weekend. I was accompanied by my friend(don't ask). We were on our way to go site see, when she says "Hey, lets go stop in the mall for a sec" .......Now I'm sure yall know where i'm going with this... Now I know better. We all know better.. #1 rule in the mans handbook is "Never go shopping with a woman" ...But I was caught off guard..and I gave her the benifit of the doubt, cause she really wanted to go site see...In short the next 9876897 hours were spent walking around the mall, her trying on clothes, her asking me how she looks in the clothes, her stopping at every store, me holding bags, purses, me holding her place in the checkout line while she looked at something she saw after she decided to buy what she was gonna buy, her calling her sisters asking them for advice and pretty much my bank act. getting lower and lower......Don't even ask me why I spent $188 on a pair of versace sunglasses...and thats not even the half of it...So fellas...My advice...If a woman wants to "stop at the mall for a sec(especially if the are out of town),just give her the mastercard/visa and say, "Call me when you ready". Don't fall for it!! Do not..I repeat do not go in the mall with her!!!!!!!!

I'm sure that most of yall will agree when you read this, don't you find it funny, that for the first 20+ years of our lives we've done without cell phones, but now if you leave home without it you can't function without it? Sometimes we race back home to get it, but if we are running late for work, we curse ourselves for leaving it and keep going. Checking our voicemail periodically. Wondering if that call you were expecting happened and you missed it. You try to figure out if you can waste your whole lunch hour to go get it. I have 3 cell phones. Yes 3!!! One is my main cell phone for my personal use. Second is my company phone 450 anytime minutes. I use that one during the day and my personal at night when my minutes are free. The third phone is a old relic from back when I was broke and had no credit. It's a pre-paid cell phone. Funny thing is, I haven't bought minutes for it in forever. There must be a glitch in the system cause at the end of every month, there are minutes added to it. It was kinda a coincidence how I found out. The power had gone out in my house overnight, So I wanted to know what time it was. The phone had been powered down for months. So I hit the power button..when it came on it said...New voicemail...I'm like wtf....So I dialed 611 to check the balance..It had $47 worth of minutes on it. Ever since then, I just use it for my text message habit.

Oh by the way...Sprint sucks!!!!!!

Just thought I'd share that.